It’s that time of year when many of us start having conversations about how to get in shape for winter. Call it classic overthinking, but we spend more time contemplating what will be worse: actually exercising in preparation for winter sports or the pain we will endure that first week on the mountain.

Getting in shape competes with our outdoor leisure (British pronunciation only) time and the former unfortunately requires effort and discomfort and sometimes lifting heavy objects and also running or squats. So we came up with a list of 10 Ways To Get In Shape For Winter, also known as nine wrong answers only with one legit suggestion.

1. Wear leg weights through an air-conditioned grocery store listening to your favorite podcast like you’re the star in Supermarket Sweep. Bonus points for adding heavy stuff to the cart like ice and gallons of milk. Be cautious with melting and spoilage.

2. Watch the videos of barely dressed fit people because MANIFESTING.

3. Download the Chani app. If you know, you know.

4. Perfect curls with beer growlers, ensuring you only lift with a stick threaded through the hole because of tendinitis.

5. Half planks because we’re into protecting our wrists obvs per sticks in beer growlers.

6. Watch videos on how to do biometric exercises balancing on a yoga ball but never buy the yoga ball.

7. Listen to the latest news from the Supreme Court and squat in protest.

8. Consciously object.

9. Do nothing and then cry about how much it hurts.

10. Register for the Ski Babes Training for Winter Strength & Resilience course because it beats scrolling through Johnny Collinson’s Instagram.