Something that impacts all sexual relationships is well, sex. And more specifically how to keep it interesting. Healthy relationships need elements of spontaneity, change, and growth. And these elements are arguably both the most fun and difficult when it comes to sex. It’s completely normal to feel like your sex life is routine or unexciting or just without anything new. We are busy people, life takes over, and it can be hard to keep that spark alive.
But new things to try with your partner(s) are not only essential but fun! Regardless of if you feel a need to change things up, a want is totally valid too. Whomever you are trying new things will help you and your relationship grow. That’s why we put together this non-exhaustive list of 5 things in the bedroom (or outside of it) to try with your partner(s).
1. Sex Outside
So you probably saw this coming. We’re obviously outdoor fanatics and lovers of sex, so of course, we love all things sex in the outdoors. Sex outdoors is fun, quite beautiful, and an extra sensory experience. Being outside can include anywhere from your backyard to a remote area of the forest. Just make sure you’re careful about the location—as amazing as this will be for you, it may not be as great for other hikers, and make sure you are safe. Looking for tips? Head on over to our blog about sex in the outdoors.
2. Using Pleasure Products
A fun way to spice up your regular sex life is to add pleasure products. They are fun for all genders and all genitalia and often make sex feel better. There are lots of ways to have fun with toys: resting a vibrator on your clit during penetration, using a strap-on with your partner, or sharing a dildo between your vaginas during sex. All of it is a hard YES please and thank you. If you are curious, we wrote a blog about introducing sex toys into the bedroom that you can find here.. If you are ready to start using one now, check out the Dame vibes we offer. From experience, they will do the job and more. Happy playtime.
Role play can mean a number of things. Maybe you play parts in bed. Perhaps one of you is dominant and the other is submissive or you have names you want to call each other during this playtime. Or maybe you have full-on costumes and characters and you put on a show. Whatever role play means to you, stepping outside of your regular routine and headspace filled with that conversation with your parents, the dirty dishes, and work chatter can be extremely beneficial to helping you feel sexy and like having sex. For more ideas on role play, we love this article from Ester Perel’s blog.
4. Involving others
While this may not be for everyone, it can be very fun and refreshing for a relationship. Maybe it’s a threesome, maybe you head over to a sex club, maybe you take part in group sex or maybe you have some couple friends you’d really like to see naked. Whatever works for you and/or your partner(s) is exactly what you should be doing! Just make sure everyone has consented and you communicate about it beforehand, even the uncomfortable parts. You might find out that setting boundaries around how it will work, what is off limits, and what is a definite yes can make for a more positive experience. Strong and clear communication with your partner(s) can help create some of the most fun and exciting sexual experiences you can have. If you’re curious but not quite sold on the idea we suggest starting by checking out “Where Should We Begin?” a renowned sex therapist, Ester Perel’s podcast on non-monogamy, and this article on Ethical Non-Monogamy.
5. Watching Porn
So maybe involving others isn’t for you, but another fun thing to try out is watching others. This is something you can do solo or you can show your partner the porn you touch yourself to and get them to show you theirs. Not only is this super sexy and fun, but it’s also quite intimate and trust-building. It’s allowing your partner in on an intimate and private part of your mind which can ultimately bring you closer together and ideally turn you both on. Before you do this, you’ll want to check out our blog on ethical porn here.
We hope these ideas help you and your partner explore new things together. Your intimacy is important. As you grow alone and in your relationship, your intimacy should be able to grow too.