From the Lady Parts archives

Hello friends,

I clearly don’t have enough things to fill my 24 hours, which is why in addition to Lady Parts, I attempt to write another weekly newsletter, Redefining Radical, which is a bit more personal (read: potentially unhinged). No one thought it was possible for me to differentiate between what would be considered appropriate content for a “business” newsletter and my own personal platform, but here I am, surprising and delighting yet again. Sometimes, however, the boundaries blur and I’m so tickled by something I wrote for Redefining Radical I must share it here.

Case in point: That time I wrote about the connection I forged with the cats I encountered in Kenya.

I feel obliged to share it here today, particularly given that T Swift has now admitted she’s a rad fem childless cat lady. I feel like I paved the road for her to feel comfortable with that revolutionary disclosure to the world. My hope is that in sharing my story here again with you, perhaps you’ll be inspired as well.

Here we go!

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For the past three years, immediately following my cycling trip from Nairobi to the coast of Kenya, I have been trying to undo becoming the most disgusting version of myself in Lamu, a tiny, traditional Swahili island located on the edge of the world that can only be described as magical.

There are swims in the Indian Ocean, long walks on the beach searching for sand dollars, 6 pm drinks and people-watching at Peponi’s, morning yoga at Banana House, sunset dhow cruises through the mangroves, twists and turns through carless streets, and 3 am floats. Reaching it from Diani requires a car ride, ferry, 26-seater airplane, and a boat taxi, and it’s so worth the trip. It’s quite possibly one of the better decisions I’ve made in my life, even if it is somewhat of an escape from adulting.

On this particular trip, I couldn’t help but notice the number of cats on the island. It’s not that they have eluded me in years past; it’s that we didn’t have much to connect over. But as soon as JD Vance besmirched our good names, we had plenty to discuss.

It’s quite difficult to explain his obsession. Yes, cats and childfree women are liberated and free, driven by the desire to do whatever we want, whenever we want. We make our own rules, we break them when we feel like it, and you can never tell us what to do. While JD is trying to decide between a sectional or an English Arm Roll, we’re galavanting across the world, dipping in and out of dark alleys, living our best lives. We get it, you’re scared of us. And for good reason. We upset the system.

The cat lady trope has a long history, from the Salem witch trials to the conversation I had with my besty Raquel a few months ago, in which she suggested I get an Apple watch specifically so I can use the tool that tracks forceful sudden stops. It then sends a message to my emergency contact, alerting them to my fall that will certainly happen down the not-up-to-code stairs in my scary basement so send someone ASAP before the cats eat my face.

All of this has gotten me thinking about why childfree women and cats have gravitated toward one another throughout history:

1. One minute we want to be stroked behind the ears and scratched on our backs and the next we want you to get the fuck away from us. We all need our space and we’re not afraid to leave scars over it.

2. Our love language is leaving surprise presents on your doorstep that we’ve scavenged far and wide for all night. We consider our choices eclectic and acknowledge you might feel differently.

3. We’re both low maintenance. A few licks and pats and we’re sorted, ready to take on the day. Who knew we cleaned up so well?

4. No one knows if the noises that come out of our mouths are out of pain or pleasure. It’s part of the appeal, isn’t it?

5. We’re both relatively indifferent to your feelings, which should be apparent from this list.

I’m embracing this moment and doubling down on this crazy cat lady thing. It doesn’t matter to me that for most of my life, I’ve been somewhat anti-cat, believing they are really lions and tigers caught in small bodies, so angry over losing the genetic lottery that they’ll turn on you at any time. Embracing this so-called insult is another form of resistance, a refusal to allow men like JD Vance to control my body and my decisions.

I’m not trying to undermine the meaningfulness of childbearing. I have been told being a mother is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, and I believe that to be true. The inverse is true, as well: not having children is also an expression of our ability to attain deep meaning and purpose outside of motherhood. Whether you have children or don’t, want them or don’t, all women deserve better; we shouldn’t be made to feel small about the big life choices we make.

Now you might think all I did in Kenya was chase cats, but I did so much more, and I want to invite you to join me. I’ll be returning to Kenya in the summer of 2025 to work with Zawadisha and to guide two cycling trips. If you want to learn more and potentially join me, pop by the next Q&A session I’m hosting on September 25th at 5 pm PST. You can register here.

And if you’re thinking to yourself, I don’t really want to ride bikes in Kenya next to elephants and giraffes, but shredding pow in Japan sounds fun, we can chat about that too.

Until next week…

Jen Gurecki, she/her, CEO of Coalition Snow